It's Time to Prune The Tree

In this week's episode, I discuss the importance of managing the people, places and things in your life. 

The Story: Why was I thrown out of a bar by a bouncer on a double date when I was over 40 years old? 

The Lesson: It's time to prune the tree.

The Advice: Sometimes it is easier to identify what you don't want in your life rather than what you do want...so start there. 

Sponsor I Wish I Had:
Vice Golf
@vicegolf on IG
Grab a golf glove here from my affiliate link:
https://amzn.to/3wPjv85

Grab the golf balls here:
https://amzn.to/3V95VnQ


Just the Tip:
Using a tee to help improve your golf swing.

Whisper In:
@mygolfspy on IG

Check out this related video: https://youtu.be/QtyASmEZ2F4?si=w_yRSENYi3L5-Ljw 

Check out the Story. Lesson. Advice. Podcast here: https://www.buzzsprout.com/919333/14216914 

Have a topic suggestion for the show? Email me at saturdayisdadurday@gmail.com 

Music by Purple-planet.com Music by Wondershare Filmora 12 

Connect on IG: @saturdayisdadurdaymedia

Transcript

So I'm going to tell you about the only time in my entire life that a bouncer put his hands on me at a bar
everyone, thanks for listening to the story lesson advice podcast. Part of Saturday is Saturday media, podcast series, video series blogs and books all in due time, at Saturday is Saturday media for YouTube and Instagram. And si d media.net. Is the website. We'll get right into it. I said that I am going to tell you about the time that a bouncer put his hands on me, but that is in a minute. First, I want to talk to you about the title of this episode, which is, it's time to prune the tree. And when you get to a certain point, I feel like in life, you get shown things by people or buy places or buy things. And it makes you realize, yeah, I think it's time to prune the tree a little bit. So I'm going to give you a couple of mini stories of this kind of happening for me, several weeks or months ago, I was golfing with some friends and
some people and then some people I didn't know as well. And at the end of the round, we were sitting around at the kind of the 19 pole bar outside on the patio. And there was a couple people I didn't know and one of the people
was trying to move an umbrella and kind of put it in a different position. So it would cover the cover the table a little bit better. And next to it was kind of that one of those outdoor space heaters that are you see at restaurants or like vertical ones. And the guy was trying to do it. He was an older guy. And he was kind of struggling with it. And just as one or one or two of us was about to get up and kind of help with the process. Once we realized what he was doing. The waitress came over and said, Oh, hey, oh, can I help you? And the guy's response was said something to the effect of we I was wondering when somebody was going to come over and help me like, this is ridiculous. And he was a total jerk about it. And that really bothered me. And right away, somebody said like, hey, it's fine, you know, we'll take care of it. And the waitress, I think, was kind of flummoxed and kind of caught off guard or whatever. So later on, I was paying for everything. And I was up at the bar, cashing out and I said, Hey, just wanted to say apologies for the for the personalities over there. Like, you know, I don't know that guy, but that was not okay. And she was like, oh, no, it's fine. No big deal. But that right there is an example of I don't need any of that kind of a person in my life at all in any way. I don't need it. So if you have someone like that, just think about that. Another example is a place so we're talking about pruning the trees, people places and things. The place a couple years ago, we were with some friends my wife and I and we were at a bar and it was we walked in and it was first of all there was a cover charge which I don't do that
second of all, it was UFC night. I don't do that. And third of all it was super crazy and you know, five, six people deep in order to get a drink or whatever and it was kind of one of those places where it's you're getting closer to the end of the night and it's like do we really need to be doing this do we need to be going here but we ended up there and we're we're there and this is at all not my kind of place and it was really busy and our our wives had their purses or something on a chair and I think somebody's some other woman or whatever like move their purses or did something like that like mess with their stuff. And
one of them put their one of their persons on the ground and I think I went to pick it up and some guy I had no idea like grabbed me by the neck and like I've never been in a fight in my entire life certainly not a bar fight like I don't do those kinds of things. I'm not the kind of guy that you know tries to pull up at a UFC night at a bar and and get all get all tough with with with the patrons. But I was like bending over picking up I think it was my wife's purse. Some guy put his hand on my neck and was like, like holding me down or something. I had no idea what was going on. Never saw this person never said anything. There were no looks exchanged prior. And then immediately the bouncer came over. I think he saw what was going on and grabbed this guy and then another bouncer grabbed me and they were like pushing all of us out escorting all this out. I'm like, I have no idea what's even going on here and I'm getting pushed out of the bar. And that was an example of like, I was already over 40 years old and I'm like that does not need to happen ever in my life. Like it doesn't need to happen anybody's life but it's one thing if you're in your 20s and you're stupid, whatever like we're all over 40 There's none of us need to be in a situation where anything close to that could happen.
And a thing another mini story, person place thing time to prune the tree a thing is
I enjoy from time to time smoking cigars. And now I
live in Arizona, with our family with my family. And I don't really know a ton of people yet. So, you know, there's not that many opportunities for me to sit around with guys and smoke cigars. And I don't usually smoke them by myself. So when we lived in Texas, my wife and I would would periodically sit outside on a patio and have some wine and hang out and relax. And that turned into me kind of having cigars, like once or twice a week, which I think is a lot. And it got to a point I remember like, is this what I want to be like, do I want to be cigar bourbon guy that's just that's sitting out there hanging out? smoking cigars drinking bourbon, three, four nights a week, during the week or not? And I remember saying, okay, like, I love cigars, I love bourbon, I love wine, all that stuff. But I think I need to put the put the brakes on how much I do that and scale way back, kind of the way that I the way that I do that. And that was something I was like, I don't want to be cigar bourbon guy. Not that there's anything wrong with smoking cigars or drinking some bourbon. But like I didn't, I was going that way where it was like becoming a regular part of my week. I was like, Yeah, I don't, I don't love that. I don't want that. So those are three little examples of things I recognized in my life that were not really where I wanted to be.
And now it's time for this week's sponsor, I wish I have and this week's sponsor I wish I had is a product that I had been using for a couple of years, and absolutely love it. And they are vise golf, and to be 100% transparent, the way that I just randomly stumbled upon these guys. And what really drew me to them initially was the fact that their golf balls were vise. And that was enough for me because I am a huge Miami Vice fan. And for whatever reason I have an affinity towards all things Florida, all things southern Florida. And I really, really was drawn towards that. But it turns out that I actually really liked their products. They have really good golf balls and a really, really excellent price. They do a whole bunch of stuff.
As far as different kinds of golf balls, they have accessories, for golf bags, and divot tools, and golf gloves, and all that kind of stuff, even have a bunch of apparel with with, you know, stuff golf, golf apparel.
But they are really big to me on having high quality at a reasonable price. And if anybody does do any golfing, you will easily agree with me that whatever it is to golf, whether it's to play golf, to buy clubs to buy golf balls, anything, everything's astronomical, like everything is way more expensive than it should be. And that is a big barrier of entry for a lot of people. First of all, Golf is a slow paced game, you kind of have to have somebody to kind of grandfather's you into wanting to play golf, and teach you and kind of get you going. And then everything is super expensive. I was looking at golf bags, and they were like 500 bucks, I was like kiss my ass. No, thank you, I'll keep the one that I have. But vice Golf has a ton of stuff, the golf balls, the apparel, the accessories, and they are really slick looking, they have some really cool marketing, they're really good products, and they're at a very affordable price. So if you have not seen them, vise golf.com is the website, I highly recommend checking them out. They are this week's sponsor I wish I had.
Alright, so I gave you three little mini stories about a person a place and a thing that kind of made me realize the lesson of today's episode. And that is it is time to prune the tree. And as you get older, I think a really valuable lesson you learn as you start to identify, sometimes things that you do want in your life, whether that's people or a company you work for, or whatever you have around the house. But I think something that is easier, that's kind of you stumble upon a little bit faster when you're an adult is you start to realize, oh, this is something I do not want. And is I don't want any part of this. And I don't want this in my life. And I'm good without it and all of that. And for me, the example that I gave about the person that was being rude to the server, that was helping us at the golf course, that kind of a person, that is not anybody that I want to be around with, and have anything to do with now. I will say hey, don't judge anybody, you know, by their worst day, and you would probably not want to judge anybody at all. However, if you see someone's behavior, you can pretty quickly identify that's kind of not what I want to do. That's certainly not the behavior I want to display. That's certainly not the behavior I want my my wife and daughter to see or I want them to be around when my daughter gets older and dates. I don't want her date and guys that have that kind of an attitude. And you've heard the trope about you know, go on a date. Watch out, see how someone interacts with the server, that's usually a good barometer kind of on a first day kind of thing. But being around people that are rude like that for no reason or have a sense of entitlement or
or, in that way it just really chaps my ass. And that was a pretty quick identifier. I've seen that over several years. As you get older, you start to see people in you're like, Am I just, that's not for me. And also, as a bonus, I love the people that will go out of their way to tell you that they hate drama they are so anti drama. Of course, guess what, those people have nothing but drama in their life, just oceans of drama in their life every day.
The place that gave you the story of the little bar UFC night with a cover charge, and we got thrown out by bouncers first time that's ever happened to me in my entire life. That is another example of pruning the tree like that kind of a situation is not something I want to be a part of. I don't want to have number one, I don't do bars where you have to pay a cover. I really struggle with paying you money, so I can go inside and pay you more money for usually poor service. So that's struggle. I struggled with that. But just the whole concept. Like say it out loud, over 40 adults double date going to a bar with a cover UFC night, super busy, lots of bros being bros. saying it out loud doesn't sound like a great night. Now I'd much rather go down the street to a little wine bar or a little speakeasy or someplace like that said you can talk you can hang out and have a drink or two and then be on your way.
Or better yet, how about a double date that doesn't involve dinner and drinks? What about a double date of hiking? What about doing something that's that that is turning a new page instead of just going to eat and drink. So that was reaffirmed for me how much I do not want anything to do with any of those kinds of places or situations. And the third thing being being the cigar smoker, right? I was never never smoked at all. Cigars would be intermittent at best. And I was almost getting to the point where it was like one or two a week and thinking, Man, that's a lot of cigars for someone my age. That's a lot of tobacco. That's a lot of bourbon and wine that's along with it. And is that really what I want to be doing. As I go forward here with the rest of my life is that what I want around me. And as I sit here, the opposite of a pillar of health, it just continues to remind me like Man, I'd really love to not be that kind of person. And I'd really love to be the kind of person that instead of cigars and bourbon and wine on a consistent basis is hikes and walks and strength training and healthy eating and all of that that's that's where I would like to gravitate towards easier said than done. But that's another reminder, as you get older of, you know, I think I'd like to go down this other path. Not that I still can't enjoy a cigar on a holiday or, you know, one weekend when we have friends in town or something like that, or can enjoy some bourbon or wine but seeing where that becomes a part of your life and how much a part of your life. As you get older, you start to recognize like and that's maybe I need to pull back on that just a wee bit. So the lesson again is, it is time to prune the tree or wherever you're at in your life, you need to take a look around, and you need to think about pruning the tree.
For this week's just the tip, I'm gonna stay with the golf theme. If you can believe that. Now I have been golfing since I've been about seven years old. I'm 43. So do the math on however old that is. I've never been particularly good. I will tell you when I was 10 years old, I got a hole in one. Clearly it was nothing but skill and zero luck was involved in any way, shape or form.
I do remember everybody saying that they needed to give me their autograph on the scorecard. And what they were telling me the group that saw the hole in one when I was 10 was hey, we need to sign your card to verify that you actually got a hole in one but they all these older guys kept saying we need to give you our autograph. And as a 10 year old I remember thinking Wait, I'm the one who hit the hole in one I should be giving you my autograph. Right. So clearly, that was the highlight and peak of my golf career. And it happened three years into playing. It's been downhill ever since. But I love golfing. And I tried to do it as frequently as I can.
While still making time for the fam. And a very quick tip that helps me if anybody is golfing or looking to golf or even if you are going to top golf or someplace like that. If you're struggling to hit a particular club or struggling to hit any of your clubs, and you're doing some practicing, if you can't do this in an actual game of golf, but if you're doing some practicing or you're at a top golf is use a tee and tee it up low, but use a tee and just that little bit of elevation from the ball off of the mat or off the grass can help make you get under the ball a lot easier and help make you just get comfortable with swinging a golf club. And I'm sure there's a million people out there who are way way better and more qualified to golf than me that will argue with that 1,000% But that is something that has helped me that is something that helped me years ago when I had golf lessons. Is that the Pro that was helping me so let's focus on
hitting off of a tee for all of your clubs for a while to get you comfortable with your swing patter. And just comfortable with the speed of swinging a golf club and all that kind of stuff. And it makes it just a little bit easier. And you kind of get kind of can make the mental connection of how to do the the actual swing, and then you can start working, you know without the tea, but there you go, that is my quick, just the tip. And it works even if you're a Top Golf.
So I gave you the three mini stories, the person, the place, and the thing, the idea of time to pruning the tree. And the lesson is, once you get to be a certain age, and you start to look at your life, if you're willing to step back and examine, it might be harder to identify all the things that you do want out of life. But it's probably pretty easy to identify one or two or three things that you are, you're okay with removing from your life or having a little bit less of in your life. And the advice that I would give to pruning the tree is if it's something that is not adding value in your life, and get rid of it. And I'm not talking about paying bills or taxes, because that that would be easy to do. But when it comes to anything with its friends, people places things, right, any of those things, if they're not adding value, get rid of it. If you have relationships with people, and they're always canceling on you, or every time you get together, you leave and you didn't have a great time or when you're not together, they're talking shit about you or whatever the case is. You don't need that in your life, you're better off with zero friends than two friends that are that function that way. When it comes to places, if you're, you know, if you've got places that you visit, or restaurants, I remember there was a restaurant that our family used to go to, I can't remember the name of it, but it was in the DFW area. And we went there like four times. And like the first time we went there, it wasn't very good. The second time we went there, it was a little bit better. And the third time we went there, it was really bad. And I'm thinking Why the hell do we keep going here like I am all for wanting to give a second chance, especially to a place like a restaurant because you never know, you know, from someone who used to cook you never know what what, what's going on behind the scenes that could contribute to maybe a less than stellar one time experience. But to repeat and constantly go back to the same places that are just not doing it for you get rid of it, prune the tree. And the same with things. If there's there's material things in your life that are not adding value, then stop wasting your money on him. For me cigars, you know, there's no reason I needed to be spending, you know, 20 to $30, a week or more on cigars, and then double that with having extra bourbon around the house or extra wine around the house and doing all that again, not saying that you can't enjoy that stuff. Not saying that you can't have that as part of your your life in inside of your orbit. That's great. But having a balance and understanding where that fits in your life. And I needed to prune the dreaded need to chop that tree down, just pruned it a little bit, took a few branches out and gave it a little less water. And it's okay, I feel like I pulled back into a better balance of being able to enjoy those things without So hopefully, this concept of pruning the tree, looking at what things in your life, add value and do not add value and start there and start maybe just pulling back a little bit or removing things altogether. And it can be a daunting task that can be pretty difficult if you think about it to try to make that step or maybe distance yourself from that person who you think is a friend or an acquaintance or, you know, stop going to this establishment because it's just close are convenient, but it's not really good or whatever. And I would urge you to really be able to sit down and have the tough conversation with yourself and be willing to make those decisions now. So you have time to work through them. And then a year from now you're on the other side of that decision, and you're better off for it.
Okay, and now it's time for this week's whispering
that I'm going to keep with the golf team. And I'm talking about an Instagram account that I've been following. And it's called my golf, Spy, Spy, my golf spy. And they dubbed themselves the Consumer Reports of golf, your number one guide for golf equipment. They are unbiased and independent. And they have a mass of
about 400,000. And they talk about all sorts of things. They review all sorts of golf products, shoes, bags, balls, clubs, they give you the unbiased and down and dirty, honest truth about all these different types of products. And as I said before, one of the things that's really frustrating about golf is that it's very expensive. And it's a very big barrier of entry for a lot of people and
It shouldn't cost you $2,000 To get a decent set of golf clubs, and a cheap golf pack, that's what it costs.
But these guys do a really good job of giving great unbiased information. They're followed by some other really big names in golf apparel, and in the golf industry, my golf spy on Instagram, this week's whisper
Alright, so as we close out another episode of The Story lesson device podcast, I want to say thank you for listening, I will have an affiliate link for the vise golf balls, if you're interested in purchasing them or any of the vice apparel that will be through Amazon. So you can check that out. That'll be in the show notes. And we will quickly recap the story lesson advice. There's many stories of the people place things that I really didn't love golfing with someone and they ended up being rude to the servers getting thrown out of a bar that was UFC night that had a cover charge.
Because apparently there was a we're on the cusp of having a fight and I didn't even know what was happening. And then the thing of me being turning a little too much to the right for being a cigar and bourbon guy. And realizing probably need to pull some of that back. So the lesson, those are three examples. And the lesson there is that it's time to prune the tree. And that is something you constantly need to do. But especially once you get to a certain age, if you have kids and you kind of look around and say you know what is adding value here. And the advice that I would give is, if it's not adding value, then get rid of it. Or at least pull back on it doesn't mean that you can't enjoy your vices.
It doesn't mean that you can't have fun with other things or do other things but pull back on stuff or eliminate stuff that is not adding value. If it's not helping you go forward in your life, then you don't need to be messing around with it. The sponsor I wish I had this week is Vice golf, they are in a golf ball and apparel brand. They are super awesome. And I've been using them for several years I just ordered some the other day and they showed up the same day, but excellent golf balls that I use. And they have some really fun cool apparel and accessories as well. The just the tip is staying with the golf team. Again, I'm not an expert, but something that was taught to me when I did take lessons, and it was helpful and this works even if you're at a top golfer a place like that is if you're struggling to hit a particular club, or just struggling to hit clubs in general, then try practicing with the ball on a tee tee it up low to the ground. But just giving that little bit of elevation can help you make contact with the ball and help you just get more comfortable with how to swing the golf club overall. And the whisper in is my golf spy at my golf spy. They are Instagram calm that I've been following. They are basically they dubbed themselves the Consumer Reports of golf, independent and unbiased. They give you tons of information and reviews on all sorts of golf products, golf bags, golf shoes, balls, clubs, courses, just all sorts of information really good stuff. I've really had a lot of fun following them for the last couple of months. And I would recommend checking them out. So as I mentioned, this is one of the podcasts that we have is that I have on the Saturday is Saturday Media Network Sid media. And I have another video podcast that is also an audio form on its own feed called I hate reading but it's really more of a video format. I've got multiple video series, I've got an unboxing and review where I unbox and review products that I actually own. Got a series for that. And then I also have a bricks and mortar cooking series where I spent a lot of time cooking some fun recipes, things that I've learned in restaurants and just sort of fun, easy stuff to do. seasonally appropriate and otherwise. So thank you very much for listening at Saturday is Saturday medium is where you can find me on YouTube and Instagram and Sid media dotnet is the website. We'll see you next time on the story lesson advice podcast. Have a great day