Stop Trying to Impress Strangers!

In this week's episode, I discuss the story of the guy I golfed with that carried $5,000 in cash on him in his wallet...why?

For the lesson, it's simple...stop trying to impress strangers. What is our fascination with wanting to make sure complete strangers are in awe of us - our cars, our houses, our watches...I've been guilty of this to the 'nth degree...have you?

The advice I would give my younger self? Ask yourself this question - what do you place value on?

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Just the Tip:
Garbage Can in the Car

Whisper In:
Dennis Prescott
 @DennisThePrescott on YouTube and IG

Check out this related video: https://youtu.be/QtyASmEZ2F4?si=w_yRSENYi3L5-Ljw 
Check out the Story. Lesson. Advice. Podcast here: https://www.buzzsprout.com/919333/14216914 

Have a topic suggestion for the show? Email me at saturdayisdadurday@gmail.com 

Music by Purple-planet.com Music by Wondershare Filmora 12 

Connect on IG: @saturdayisdadurdaymedia

Transcript

And then he tells me, she brought back my wallet. And not a penny was missing. That's how I knew I could trust her. And I had $5,000 in cash in my wallet
Everyone welcome into another episode of The Story lesson advice podcast part of Saturday is Saturday media sad. media.net is the website at Saturday is Saturday media is the YouTube and Instagram handle, multiple podcasts, multiple video series, blogs, books all in due time. Thank you for listening. We'll get right into it. So I gave you a teaser of the story. We'll start at the beginning of the story with it. So a while ago, I went golfing with someone that I didn't know very well. And it was a newer person that I had met. And hey, we went golfing. Awesome. So nice guy. And we went golfing and halfway through golfing. He was telling me the story of that he was a member of this club that we were at. And one day, he had left his wallet by accident in the golf club or in the golf cart. And he came back later that day when he realized that and the beverage cart woman had grabbed the wallet and taken it back to the clubhouse or whatever kept it on her. And he came back and one way or another, they bumped into each other and she's like, oh, yeah, I've got your wallet. Here you go. And he was telling me hey, I know she's good people because she didn't take any money out. And I had $5,000 in cash on me in the wallet.
And to me
that I didn't ask this question. But what went through my head was, what in this shit? Are you doing with $5,000? In cash? In your wallet? First of all, what kind of a Costanza wallet do you have to have? I mean, it's gonna be like you're sitting on a brick, if you're having $5,000 in cash in your wallet. But why would you have that, like, if you have enough money to have if you make enough money to have $5,000 in cash in your wallet? Then you obviously don't show up, you're not going to any kind of places that require you to have cash. So you might want to have some money if you're going to valet your car or whatever like that. But why on earth? Would you have $5,000 in cash on you at any time, unless you are making a drug deal? I don't I don't understand. I was telling one of my buddies this. And I was like I was just so just flabbergasted. And I asked him that, why the hell would you have that? And he said, just so without skipping a beat. It's like, well, cuz he doesn't want his wife to know what he's doing. And like, that just stopped me dead in my tracks. And like, I was like, yep, that makes total sense. And part of me is like, I don't know what the hell you're doing with five grand? I mean, sure. obvious answer is you're going to the strip club, or you're going gambling or whatever. But, but $1,000 That's a lot of clams to be keeping in your wallet. But I also think, from golfing with this person and spending the day with this person, that it was very clear that there was a certain certain presentation that was trying to be given off a certain vibe that was trying to be created a certain aura that was trying to be created about that. And before I judged and I don't want you to think I'm judging even though I am like, Get out of here. You don't need five grand in your in your wallet. But it reminded me of when I was in my mid 20s why I spent money on cars that I couldn't afford, and bought clothes that I didn't need and spent money on watches that I didn't need. I've got two wrists. I only wear a watch on one of them. Why do I need five watches? Right? But I think it all goes back to this concept of this fan. This this fantasy that we have this is I don't know what to call it. But this infatuation there's the better word with the idea of impressing strangers wanting to impress strangers.
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Okay, so I gave you the story of this guy went golfing with that was carrying around $5,000 in cash on him, left it in his golf cart. Luckily, someone found it didn't take any money, gave it back to him. I was just flabbergasted and perplexed why anybody would have $5,000 in cash on him. And my buddy said, Well, it's because he doesn't want his wife to know what he's doing. That makes total sense. And also, that brought me back to when I used to spend money foolishly on cars and clothes and watches and all sorts of stuff. And it was really this idea and this infatuation with with trying to impress strangers. And I don't know where that comes from.
Just overall, but if you look around, everybody is trying to impress strangers, and I'm as guilty as the next person. Although now I think I'm less concerned about that. I just don't care anymore. But man, for the longest time, I was so focused on that. And it goes back to other things that I've talked about in previous episodes about the cost of intersection and value. You know, have you buying a $40,000 SUV versus a $90,000? SUV? Are you getting $50,000 more value out of that more expensive SUV? Probably not? What you're getting is a perceived value, and you're getting the stranger appeal that strangers are going to see you pull up in a Range Rover instead of a Honda, or a Lexus instead of a Honda. And they're gonna say, Ooh, wow, that person is cool. Except nobody's doing that. No one cares, right? If you pull up an Aston Martin, okay, different story, maybe for me, but my wife, she doesn't care every time we walked by one of those cars. When we're in Scottsdale, we see a Ferrari or Lamborghini and Aston Martin. I'm like, wow, that's an awesome car. My wife's like, Yeah, whatever. No, it's ugly. like, Alright, sweet thanks. But the idea of us wanting to impress strangers, we go on vacation, right? We buy new clothes and new swimsuits and new things so we can were on vacation? And is that to impress the person that we're going on vacation with? Is that to feel good about ourselves? Or is it because we want to create this vibe and this aura about ourselves on vacation, as this person that saunters down to the swimming pool, or you know, saunters, to the table at dinner, or whatever. So I just think that's such an interesting thing. But the lesson that I took away from that, and then I eventually learned with myself is stop trying to impress strangers, spend time with yourself in your own head, and try to understand, why are you doing that? What is the reason that I and maybe you or others are so focused on the outward. And instead of focusing on the inward that I've asked, I had asked myself those questions. And for me, I traced it back to just ultimately wanting to feel a sense of belonging, and wanting to feel that I was liked by the people that I was accepted. So I'm chasing things that I think are gonna put me in a position or elevate me in other people's eyes. And really all it did was just waste time and money and took away from me building my actual life and building things that actually mattered and focusing on me, growing as a person emotionally and spiritually and mentally and physically at all all of those ways. And I was so focused on all of those things that I ended up just totally missing out on a lot of growth. And I think a lot of us, especially guys can be in this position, where all of a sudden, you pick your head up one day, and you're in your 40s like I am, and you're like hmm, probably I'm not probably as as mature as I should be. I'm not as mature emotionally, spiritually, mentally. Maybe I've let myself go physically. And it kind of goes back to other things I've been talking about in the past on the podcast about where you're focusing what you're focusing on, and being focused on the wrong things and finding value in the wrong things. And for me, I spent, I've spent a lot of time in the past trying to impress strangers, and all it did was negatively impact me actually being able to impress strangers, because I've become a better person so I'm
So I've been so focused as posing and try to focus and pretend that I was a better person or a cool person or had money or whatever, that I'm spending all my time doing that instead of actually just putting in the effort to be those things legitimately. Because they those things would actually add real value being a better person, being a smarter person being more emotionally developed. All of those things. Instead, I'm trying to pretend that I've got all that stuff, pretend that I've got my act together. So I think that's a valuable lesson for us to learn is stop trying to impress strangers. If you have $5,000 in your wallet, right now, we're in your purse, pick that shit to the bank, you don't need it, keep 40 bucks in your wallet or your purse in case you need to use cash for anything. And that's it, don't waste your time with five grand in your pocket. Get out of here. Crazy.
Okay, this is one of the silliest, most obvious, roll your eyes, just the tip segments. But it is something that has been and I say this
passionately, a game changer in my wife. And it is the simple concept of having a garbage can in your car. And that might seem as obvious as as day. But having a garbage can in your car is something that can dramatically improve the quality of your life. And for years, almost a decade, I worked in outside sales. So you know, my office was my car, I was in my car all day long driving around the Dallas Fort Worth area. And I would pack a lunch. So I packed my food pack my snacks I bring water, sometimes I'd stop and get a coffee or get a Gatorade or something at you know, a gas station. And man, the front passenger floor used to be my garbage can. And at the end of every day or every week, I mean, it was hilarious, I'll make a turn. And you can just hear this cascade of of empty vessels of water bottles and wrappers just rolling around the car. So I finally got a garbage can. It sits behind me in the passenger backseat on the ground. And it's something I can reach without even having to take my eyes off the road. And I can drop in something, especially with kids, it's a huge thing. My wife fought me on this for a long time, she didn't want a garbage can in her car. And then every time I would get in, it was like you know, just entering your garbage disposal. So finally got that. So obviously the most simple basic, just the tip segment. But if you do not have a garbage can in your car, go get one on Amazon. I'll have a link where you can get this one and the one that I use in the show notes and go take a look at it and you will be so pleasantly surprised. Don't just get a target bag get an actual little garbage can for your car. That is this week's just the tip.
Okay, so I gave you the story of the guy with $5,000 in his wallet. And why the hell would you have that much money unless you don't want other people to know what you're doing with that much money. So don't have $5,000 That's a that's a story and a lesson and a piece of advice. Don't have that kind of money on you ever. That's just a dumb idea.
The lesson about that is stop trying to impress strangers. Don't worry about what other people think that much. Where you are doing outward things like I used to do, where you're spending money, you're buying things, you're making life decisions based on complete strangers, potential perceived, glance, glancing opinion of you that is fleeting, at best. And it is amazing and staggering how much weight we all myself included, put into the outward projection of what we want people to think of us that we don't even know and they don't even know us. And I don't know where that is deeply rooted for everybody. But you can totally see those people, whether they're in the gym, or you see him at a store out at a restaurant or at a bar or wherever and they are just putting out vibe central vibe city is where they're going. And I mean for what, like, I have no idea I roll my eyes and walk past you and I haven't never think about you again. And that's what most people do. But for whatever reason. We're just infatuated with that idea. The advice that I would go back and get myself when I was spending money I didn't have on cars and clothes and watches I couldn't afford. The advice I'll share with my daughter and the advice maybe can be helpful for anybody listening is a question actually. And the question is, where do you place your value? And at the end of the day, what things do we actually place value on man? I've talked about this before, but if everything was stripped away, what would actually be important to you
or to me likes on social media
woman or a man smiling at you from across the bar? Is it people at work telling you what a great job you did on some project? Are those the things that matter? Is it somebody thinking that you have a cool car?
I don't know. But the advice that I would give is to ask yourself, where and what you actually place value on. And I remember having a car that still to this day is the coolest car that I ever owned. It was a Volkswagen Si Si. And it was kind of a curved, sexy car. It was the first year that it came out. And there were no markings on it other than the Volkswagen badge, and I got it in black. And it had two toned leatherette seats inside and red ambient lighting. I mean, it was awesome. It was just such a cool car. And back then I was so infatuated with the idea of having a cool car and being the cool car guy. And I had it for four years. And I had one person asked me or say something to me about my car, like one stranger that I was at a gas station. I remembered somebody said what kind of what brand new car is that as well. It's a Volkswagen. So that's really cool. I've never seen that before. And for years, that was the only stranger that ever said anything to me about my car. So all that posturing and all that, fantasizing of me thinking I was Mr. Cool and wanting to be Mr. Cool in wanting people to notice me when I pulled up somewhere because I had a cool car, all of that was one guy with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth, telling me that he thought my car was cool. So my advice is to think about what you actually place value on. And if, if ultimately, and this is a funny way to put it, but if ultimately if your goal is to be admired, and if your goal is to be impressing strangers, if you stop trying to do that, and you focus on being a better person, and doing all the things that will actually make you and your life better than you will by default, be that person that does impress strangers, and does have people say, wow, look at that person, they've got their stuff together, look at that person look at so it's kind of a funny thing. But if you focus on trying to impress if you focus on all the outward, all you're going to end up doing is wasting time that you can't get back when you should be focusing on your inward and allowing yourself to grow from the inside and project out in a good way.
And now it's time for this week's whisperer.
And this week's whispering is a chef that I've been following for a while on Instagram.
And his name is Dennis Prescott. And his instagram handle is at Dennis
Prescott on Instagram. He is a chef and his host of Netflix's restaurants on edge. He has a new cookbook that is available now. And he has tons of awesome chefs out food recipes but they are still approachable and doable by the average person. But if you think about like fun, sexy, date night, cool recipes and food. This is what you want to look at. As a cookbook, cook with confidence is out now. He seems like a super cool dude. He has tons of great recipes, basically every day, and his Instagram account is awesome.
Once again, his name is Dennis Prescott and his Instagram account as at Dennis Prescott on Instagram that is this week's whispered
All right, well, thank you very much for listening to this this podcast story listen device comes out two times a month. I have another podcast that is on audio but it's also video where it's really designed to be which is called I hate reading which is a book review podcast that also comes out twice a month. It has its own audio feed and it is on my youtube channel at Saturday is Saturday media. I also have another YouTube series called unboxing review where I unbox and review products that I actually owned. And also provide the links to those products available if you'd like to purchase them. And then I have a another YouTube video series called bricks and mortar which is a culinary cooking series where I just cook a whole bunch of fun recipes. And I post that on YouTube about once every other week. I'll have a video for that. And also I'll have those condensed versions on Instagram. So to wrap up this episode, the story of the guy walking around with five grand in his pocket.
It brought me back to me trying to impress strangers by buying cars that I couldn't afford in clothes that I could
Before the lesson stop trying to impress strangers. Why are we doing this? I don't understand this infatuation in this, this love affair that we have of wanting complete strangers to think that we're cool, and that we've got everything together. And the advice that I would give myself I could go back in anybody else is where do you place value? And at the end of the day, what things do you actually place value on? What do you truly think is important? If everything was stripped away from you? What are you going to focus on? And what would you classify as actually important, and if you're willing to focus on those things, which are actually important, you will, by default, become more impressive to strangers. So there's a hack for you. The sponsor I wish I had is Bentgo. They are lunchboxes and meal preps and accessories for adults. And for kids, I have them they work really well in the freezer, they work really well going through the dishwasher. And they can absolutely take a beating. They've got a whole bunch of different things that I would highly recommend checking out, they're elevated beyond just your normal Tupperware that you buy at the grocery store. So throw out all that microplastic nonsense, and go grab yourself something good bent, go, lunchboxes, and meal accessory prep. For this week's sponsor. I wish I have the just the tip segment goes in line with that and it's an obvious one get yourself a garbage can in the car. If you don't have one. Most of us that have kids, you probably have one by now. But if you don't have a garbage can in the car, get one it will absolutely make your life way, way better. And the Whisperer in for this week is Dennis Prescott. He is a chef and a host of the Netflix series and a cookbook author. He has an Instagram account I've been following for quite a while he's got just awesome recipes, really cool looking visual videos on Instagram and photos and everything so his instagram handle is at Dennis the Prescott. I highly recommend checking him out this week's whisper M so thank you so much for listening to another episode of The Story lesson advice podcast part of Saturday is Saturday media. S ID media.net is where you can find the website and at Saturday is Saturday media is the YouTube and Instagram handle. If you are enjoying these podcasts, thank you very much for listening. Please consider sharing them with your friends and family. Please consider leaving a review. Please consider following the podcast if you are not already. So thank you so much and we will see you next time on the story lesson advice podcast.