Don't Let Anyone Take Away Your Happiness!

This week, I discuss the story of my high school basketball experience and how it led to people taking away my happiness. Dealing with bullies is never easy, but learning how to do it can you tremendously in life. 

For the lesson, it's all about how sometimes life is not fair. People are not fair. How we learn how to deal with  that will help us in life. 
If you believe that you are on the right path, don't let anyone get in your way. 

For the advice, it boils down to this: don't let anyone take away your happiness.

Sponsor I Wish I Had:
Jayflex Fitness 
@jay flex_fitness on IG
Grab it here from my affiliate link:
https://amzn.to/3VkVIGl


Just the Tip:
How to organize your refrigerator 

Whisper In:
Joel Freeman
@joelfreemanfitness on IG

Check out this related video: https://youtu.be/QtyASmEZ2F4?si=w_yRSENYi3L5-Ljw 

Check out the Story. Lesson. Advice. Podcast here: https://www.buzzsprout.com/919333/14216914 

Have a topic suggestion for the show? Email me at saturdayisdadurday@gmail.com 

Music by Purple-planet.com Music by Wondershare Filmora 12 

Connect on IG: @saturdayisdadurdaymedia

Transcript

You bet your tiny little hiney that I went back as a freshman in college and proudly wore my new warm up jacket with my name on it
everyone and welcome into another episode of The Story lesson advice podcast part of Saturday is Saturday media, podcasts, videos, blogs and books all in due time. Sad. media.net is where you can find me Sid media dotnet. And Saturday is Saturday media on YouTube. And Instagram is where you can check me out. We're gonna get right into the story I said about wearing a warm up. And let me preface this because it's a little bit of a story. But there's a couple of good lessons and some advice that'll follow. When I was a kid, I absolutely loved basketball. That was my thing. Michael Jordan, the bowls, basketball, every waking moment as a kid, all I wanted to do was play basketball, watch basketball, everything around him. When I was in a young kid, I went to a K through eight small school and played basketball there. I think we had seven total kids on our team when I was in junior high in seventh and eighth grade, and reversible jerseys and shorts that didn't match them. It was a disaster. The floor that we played on was made of linoleum, which is ridiculous. And it was so dusty. That by halftime of the game we were all slipping around and everything. It was pretty silly. But anyway, I went I played basketball there. And I got to be kind of the star of the team, if you can say such a thing for a seven person team in a one stoplight town. But I got to be pretty decent at that. And then went to high school, which was our rivals. We beat them my final year at the small school and went over to high school and was not very well received. I was also a bigger kid and did not play football. And because of this the coach if you've ever seen the movie, varsity blues, John void played the football coach. And the coach kind of ran the school and kind of ran the town and everything that was kind of the same situation. And very early on. When I started high school at 14 years old. I was already you know, 510 and a big kid. And the football coach asked me if I would play football. And I said thanks. but no thanks. I don't like football, I really like basketball, I want to spend all my free time playing basketball. And he was also the coach of the freshman basketball team, which is the team that I was going to be playing on. So you can see where this is kind of lining up. But I was told by him, Hey, if you don't play football for me, you're not gonna play basketball for me. And that was kind of disheartening and 14 I really didn't understand I didn't understand it. I didn't really grasp it. So long story short, my freshman year, I sat on the bench for basically all of the games hardly played at all. And then, as happens in high school, like three fourths of our team was suspended for drinking at a party one night. So all of a sudden, I went from playing no games to playing basically all the games, and playing all the minutes of all the games. And I thought that was pretty interesting. And walking away from it. While everybody was like, You know what, you're not an absolutely terrible basketball player. Why have you been sitting on the bench for the first eight weeks of the season? Like Well, I don't know, ask the coach sophomore year. Something that echoed throughout my entire playing was I was never very good. It never been very good shape. So sophomore year I sat on the bench, I played, you know, 30 to 60 seconds a game, I'd make a couple of baskets, one or two baskets and then get pulled out. And even though I wasn't in fantastic shape, I still contributed very, very quickly and at a very efficient rate. And we get pulled out on the bench. And everybody would ask me what why are you bench like you come in you make one or two baskets and you're in the game for less than a minute and then you leave like what why are you not playing more? So I don't know. You know, and I was not I was not meant to keep grinding I was not being buttered I was I was in good enough shape to play with 15 year old kids up and down on the basketball floor. So that went on again for the my sophomore year, didn't play football didn't really play basketball and junior year. I think there was still some animosity there because I wasn't playing football and I was asked again every year I said I'm not interested. You know, I don't I don't like playing football. No thanks. And I started to get really serious about basketball and I asked the school you know, hey, since I'm not playing football, is there anything I can do as far as coming in early before school starts or staying after and practicing? Can I practice with the girls team? Can I help out with the girls team just I just wanted to be in the gym, be around basketball, anything I could to try to try to learn observe any of that kind of stuff. And I was told no. At every every turn note you're not allowed to do it. And that was interesting because some of our football players that would also play basketball. Somehow were allowed to go into the gym early or stay late or play with the girls team or do whatever. And for some reason, I was not allowed. Again, I'm going somewhere with this story. And then junior year, I was cut. And it was a shock to me. And I think to a lot of other people, I was just absolutely crushed. And I was really just despondent and didn't know what to do. But I knew I didn't want to give up because I knew I was good enough to play. So here's the first interesting part of the story. I asked our coach, if I could be the The Waterboy, basically the equipment manager of our team and still practice with the team, I wouldn't have a jersey I wouldn't be playing in any of the games. And during the games, I was the literal waterboy and equipment, boy. But during practice, I could still practice with the team. And that was probably the most up to that point in my life. That was the most embarrassing thing I had ever done. But it was the only way I could stay connected to basketball. So I did it, I sucked it up. And about two thirds of the way into the season. The coach said, Hey, you're doing a really good job. We're gonna give you jersey and you're gonna play in the next game. So yeah. So I went in for the game for two, three minutes, for the first time. And you know, basically over a year, since I had played in the basketball game, and scored a basket or two, everybody cheered. Yay. And, and then that was, I think I played in a few more games, but the majority of the season, I was just a waterboy. And, man, everybody in school made fun of me for being fat and for being The Waterboy and was laughing at me and not an easy thing to deal with as a kid in high school. But you know, it was a good learning experience. So senior year, I had another new coach, so four years for four coaches. And I was told by the varsity, the varsity blues coach, the guy from the beginning, the football coach. He told me, Hey, I told the coach, you know, not to waste his time with you, because you're a senior, so it doesn't matter. And you didn't play football. So you weren't willing to be part of the team, the larger team, which was the football team, so you don't deserve to play basketball. So I sat literally almost the entire season. I was not allowed to come in early or later or practice with the girls or try to do anything. And our team went Oh, and 21 if you can believe that, we lost every single game 99% of a morning even close. And I think I played maybe just a couple minutes the entire season. So the following season, I came back to watch your high school team, the following year when I was a freshman in college, and I showed up proudly wearing my warmup jacket of my college team. My warm up jacket with my name on it. And I thought that was interesting. And it was a fun thing. I made sure that every coach there saw that every one of the people I went to school with saw that. And I was good enough to make, make the roster of my college team small division three school, very small, and get the swag and the shoes and all that but I wasn't even good enough to play two minutes on an open 21 team in high school. And my takeaway from that is man, you gotta love small towns, right. All right, it's time for this week's sponsor I wish I had in this week's sponsor is a product that I've had for a couple of years. And I have really really enjoyed it. I was going to I was skeptical Sally on the front end. But once I actually got the product, I became a total true believer, and it is the hyper Bell bar by Jay flex fitness. And without a video aid here, I will do a product review on this on the YouTube channel soon. But basically it is a straight bar that you are able to connect your existing dumbbells to on either side and basically turn it into a barbell. And it can hold up to 100 pound dumbbell on each side, which is pretty heavy for dumbbells. And I think it's awesome. They call it they say to think of it as a Swiss army knife for your home gym, you can maximize your workout without sacrificing space or money on new equipment. And I was totally totally sold on it. I've used it for a bunch of things. It works really, really well. We have a couple of different kinds of dumbbells, and it works with all of them. I think there's one set of dumbbells that's like really, really thick handles that doesn't work. But I have the straight sided one. They also have an EZ Bar curl one and they also have a kettlebell grip. One which basically you take your dumbbell put it in there, but the handle is shaped in such a way that it mimics a kettlebell. Then they also have cross grip systems to do pull ups and chin ups on your doorway. And then they have some accessories for the bar for the barbell. So if you want to put you know do heavier squats on your back or whatever, it's kind of like those kinds of cushions and everything with the pads. But I have had this for a couple of years. I really enjoy it. It is called the hyper Bell bar. I have the straight bar. They have an easy curl. They have a kettlebell bow grip, and they have the cross grip system so and a few other things. I think they have stuff for your core are in some assistance bands and everything but just really awesome J flex fitness, the hyper Bell bar, check it out J FX J flex fitness j y Flex fitness.com. The Hyper Bell bar this week's sponsor I wish I had
a Okay, so I told a very long story. And I want to preface before I go any further by saying I am by no means uncle Rico here thinking that if the coach would have put me in, we would have won state 99. That's not that is not me. But the experience that I have through that I think taught me some really valuable lessons. And one of them was by the time I was ready to try out for the college team that I eventually was able to play on as a bench player, I was so full of resentment towards my high school experience, not not just the coaches or whatever, but just the whole experience. I just felt like I totally worked over. And I was really frustrated. Because, you know, that's not the kind of person I am. That's not the kind of family I was raised by. So just getting wronged for just the sake of getting wrong for no other reason, was just a really hard pill for me to swallow. And I think I was also pretty resentful towards my dad, who was pushing me because he saw an injustice and he didn't want to let it go. And he was pushing me to stand up for myself. And I think there was probably a different way to do that. But I know his intentions were good. But between the two things of you know, my dad kind of constantly pushing me and just this experience kind of hanging over me all the time, and constantly being made fun of at school and being laughed at. And then everything I think just all of it created a lot of resentment and frustration. But for me, once I got to that point, I was once I got to the point where I was trying out for college, I was only doing that just to prove that I could like I didn't want to play basketball anymore. At that point, all the joy had been sucked out of it for me, but part of that was my fault. And one of the lessons that I learn is, from that moment on, I realized that life is not going to be fair. And sometimes people are going to do shitty things to you just because and there's no hidden agenda on their end, other than they just want to make you feel bad, and they want to do something bad to you. And that often has to deal with, you know, who they are as people. But that was hard for me hard for me to deal with. But on the flip side of that, I also really learned that if you believe in something, and you believe that you're following your intended path, that you can not let anyone stop you, you're gonna get slowed down, and you're gonna get pushed off the path and you're gonna get tempted to abandon the path like I did. But ultimately, it's almost your duty to yourself to follow that path. And for me, it wasn't that I was ever going to be anything ever going to amount to anything playing basketball, I was never going to, you know, play pro or go play at some big college or anything. I barely played at a very small college. But the path for me was that was a basketball was a pure game. To me, it was something I loved. And I enjoyed. And there was an innocence that I that was associated to it. Between me and the game, it was just a fun thing as a kid. And all I wanted to do was play. And when that was taken away from me, it was really hard for me to deal with that. And I got to a point where I was just like, ah, you know what, keep it forget it. And that was what my dad was trying to play defense against was, you know, you can't let people do that, because that's going to happen more and more as life goes on. And you cannot let people take that those kinds of things away from you. So that was a very good lesson. And then speaking of my dad, I also learned that as a parent, that I needed to be able to step back and let go of some of the future in justices that are going to be happening to my daughter. And I still want to be involved. I still want to stand up for her. And I still want to teach her to stand up for herself. But also, I need to kind of do a better job than my dad did, which was I need to ask where she is at, and what she wants to work through and what she wants to do, and how she's processing those feelings. And then decipher is hey, do I need to give a little extra push here? Or do I need to let this one go? And like I said, I think my father I know my father was well intended about this. And he was good about it. But it was just it was almost like a constant hum of this topic. And it was just always there. When I came home from school, we talked about it every night. When I was at school, I was getting made fun of every day. And like when I was outside playing if my dad would come out which he would do quite often and just rebound for me. And that was kind of turned into a sour thing because we would start talking about it again and I was like you know, I'm just trying to just relax out here as a kid. That's A lot to deal with. So I think part of it though, is I was not wanting to face the tough conversation, I was not wanting to go stand up to the coach. And I did have multiple conversations with all these coaches, and basically said, you know, what is going on here, like, I'm not the greatest player in the world, but I am good enough to play more than zero minutes a season, basically. And the responses that I got was, you know, the typical, what I know now is a typical corporate non answer answer. And as a kid, you know, I should have done, I should have done a better job pushing back, but I didn't know as an adult, I mean, I would walk in and tell them all pissed off right now, and you have no problem about it. But as a kid, you know, you don't you don't know how to do that, especially when that's the first time you're ever going through something big like that. So a lot of lessons there. And it's taking me such a long time, I mean, literally 1520 years to come back to where I enjoy watching basketball again, and can talk about it and get it doesn't never bothered me about actual actually playing in high school. And, you know, being the star of the high school team. None of that was important to me. But it absolutely was an injustice. And I think even today, when I know someone is doing something wrong, just for the sake of it, when they're just being a dickhead for the sake of it, that just really bothers me. And now I'm able to be much more vocal about it. But that's something that we all deal with, in some way or another. For this week's just the tip, I'm going to help you organize your refrigerator. And we're going to start with the top shelf. So the top shelf is going to be one of the warmer locations in your refrigerator heat rises. And this is going to be where you want to store food that are going to expire sooner rather than later. If you've got leftover pizza, or leftover Chinese food, something like that, all that kind of stuff is going to go up on the top shelf. And your second shelf or your middle shelf or shelves is going to be where you want to put stuff like eggs, milk, soda, orange juice, yogurt, you know, that kind of stuff that's going to kind of be in the middle. And then your bottom shelf is where you're going to want to store your raw proteins. If you get raw chicken or packages of ground turkey breast or you get some steaks for the weekend, all of that goes on the bottom shelf. One of the reasons is because that's the colder area of your refrigerator. The other reasons and the reason you store that way in commercial kitchens and restaurants is because any of those proteins, if any of that chicken juice or red meat, the blood from the red meat drips down, you don't want that getting on your grapes, or your any of your other containers or any of your other prepared food or anything like that. So that stuff always goes on the bottom. And then you have typically have a couple of drawers. One of them I would say dedicate to you know, maybe cheese's that kind of stuff, I would dedicate another one to your fresh produce. If you don't do a lot of cheeses, then you can kind of divide the two drawers, maybe one is focused on produce fruits and one is focused on vegetables. And then your doors is where I would store obviously your condiments, your pickles, lemon juices for cooking, maybe your stocks if you have you know box containers of stock, I kind of advise against storing milk, or orange juice, something like that on on the doors. Reason being there also a warmer spot in your refrigerator. So milk in and that kind of thing you want to make sure stays nice and cold. So I like to keep it in the in the middle of the refrigerator. And then here's an extra pro tip. And this is something you cannot do in restaurants or you will get in trouble with the health department. You can't store anything in an open camp. So if you have a can of tomatoes or a can of beans, and you use a can opener and you take the lid off of it, you can't leave it in the refrigerator like that you have to put it in a container. And I'd recommend that at home, get containers and expensive ones try to look for BPA free, that kind of stuff. But you want to store foods in a container with lids. If you leave foods in a container with no lid, you are transferring the smell. And then you are also damaging the food because inside the refrigerator, the the there's fans that move the air around and that cold air is going to damage the food if it's not covered. And a second pro tip is a refrigerators job ultimately, is to keep warm air out. So if you put a bunch of hot food in there, or you make a pot of chili and you're like I need to cool this down, I'm just gonna throw the whole pot of chili in the refrigerator right from the stove. That's not going to do any favors for the food that's already in your refrigerator. And it's not going to do any favors for the refrigerator itself because it's going to be working over time. So that is this week's just the tip.
Okay, so we talked about the story of me kind of going through the trials and tribulations of playing high school basketball and not being the person that played football. And the coach that kind of ran the school was the football coach and if I didn't play football, guess what? I didn't play basketball. So really, I sat on the bench for four years in high school that was good enough to make my college team. And that was kind of an interesting dichotomy. I was never a great player, I was never in great shape. But I was good enough to play a couple of minutes, a couple of games in a one stoplight town with a team that ended up going, Oh, and 20, your own 21, whatever it was, the lessons I learned from that is, sometimes life is going to be unfair, and you have to figure out a way to deal with it. And you have to feel figuring out a way to overcome that. Another lesson I learned is that if you feel that you are following your intended path, if you feel like you're doing something that you should be that it is not just easy, it is not okay to just give that up. Because the going gets tough, and there has to be a way to see that through. And that is where the character building is that is where the leadership is, that is where your patience is tested. That is where you come out the side, the other side, a more complete person. And this whole thing about basketball, you know, it wasn't about basketball, it was about me dealing with bullies. And the way that I dealt and did not deal with them still shows up today, the way that I deal and don't deal with them. And I've worked really hard to get past that. But we all have examples of bullies in the workplace or in sports or friends or family or whatever. And you can't fight fire with with fire. You can't out bully a bully. But you can move past it and rise above it. I think that's a that's a valuable lesson. And then the last lesson that I learned was as a parent injustices are going to happen to my daughter, our daughter, and I need to be able to step back from that and let her experience those things instead of trying to be a what are they called a lawnmower parent, where you just remove every obstacle in the way. But then also recognize when my daughter is a kid, and she might need an assist, and be able to step in and help out with that. So good, good stuff for me to keep in mind and all of us as parents to keep in mind as we have younger kids. And the advice that I would give, if I could go back and tell myself how to do this all over again, what I would tell my daughter here coming up when she deals with her version of this is a couple fold one. Number one is don't let anybody take your happiness away. And basketball was my happy place. That was my fun place. And it was my place just to enjoy, and be me and just laugh and have a good time. And, you know, I was also getting exercise and I was outside most of the time when I was playing and I just loved everything about it. And because people were being bullied and we're being mean, is that I let that and those people kind of suck the joy and take the happiness away out of them. And as adults, we deal with different versions of that, but you know, plays itself out more. It's something like work, you know, you like your job, all of a sudden you get a new boss and they're complete jerk. And now you don't like your job anymore. Well, we can't we can't let people take our happiness away, when it comes to what whatever those topics are that that we like. So that is the first thing that I would tell myself and if I could go back in time, and I would tell my daughter. And the other thing is, is that standing up and holding your ground to a bully to an injustice is not as dramatic or as cinematic as you may think it's not, you know, some profound conversation. It's not, you know, putting someone in their place and everybody claps, it's much more subtle, because it's just really a test of wills. And it's a test of just outlasting people based on you know, if this is what you want, this is what you enjoy. You just have to keep pushing forward. And I would go back and tell myself that that it's not that you have to have this big thunderous conversation and in yell back at someone, but it is about just making sure that it's conveyed that you're, you're not going anywhere. And I think I was timid. And I think if you are a bully, you are like a shark smelling blood in the water with something like tremendous. So that is something that my wife and I are working on her daughter to make sure she's strong and confident and has a voice for herself.
All right, now it's time for this week's whisper and this week's quest for him as a fitness trainer and Instagram account that I have been following for several years. I really really like this guy. His name is Joel freemen. And his Instagram account is Joel Freeman fitness. He is a Beachbody Super Trainer. And he has multiple workout programs that he has developed for Beachbody which I think now was just called body But I have done all of his workouts, I really enjoy him. He makes it very approachable. It really feels like you're just working out with your friends with him and his group of other trainers that he works out with. And he is also a bourbon lover and hamburger lovers. So, you know you had me at bourbon, but he has a really fun Instagram account. He's very personable, and he does a really good job of kind of making fitness. Just kind of simple and everyday and approachable. So I cannot encourage you enough to go check out Joel Freeman Fitness on Instagram, and the Beachbody app the body app. Joel Freeman is a Super Trainer for body and he has a really cool seems like a really cool guy. So that is this week's whispered in Joel Freeman and fitness.
Okay, as we wrap up another episode of The Story lesson advice podcast, I want to say thank you for listening and supporting coming soon we're going to be I'm going to be having the I hate reading podcasts going to be having unboxing and product reviews. I'm going to be having cooking videos as well all on YouTube, and some will be podcast as well. So all of this coming in the next couple of months before summer. So I'm excited for all that a lot of work been delayed a little bit with the amount of me being sick and just family and life and work travel and all that but just got to do what you can and I'm I feel good about it because I have the systems and processes in place to get back on track, which is something that I've talked about before. So to wrap up the episode, the story of me going through my high school basketball experience with the varsity blues coach less than stellar. The lessons I talked about is being able to, you know, stand up for yourself and, and push through and realize that people some people are just not nice people. That's the way it goes. And the advice that I would give myself and get my daughter talking about not letting people take your happiness away, talking about understanding how to stand up to bullies and, and just keep pushing through with what you know to be right in your heart. The sponsor I wish I had this week was the J flex barbell and J Flex fitness.com is where you can find it. They have a straight barbell, they have a EZ Bar curl, they have a kettlebell set up and basically what you do is you you put your dumbbells in there and you screw them on there and it basically turns a barbell or an EZ Bar into a an actual barbell and you with your dumbbells. So if you have dumbbells at home, we all bought those over during COVID. It makes it really easy to be able to turn it into a barbell and do different exercises with it. So really, really like it. The just the tip was about organizing your refrigerator top shelf down to the bottom shelf, your drawers, your doors, and a couple of additional tips in there as well. And the whispering was Joel Freeman fitness. Joel Freeman is a Super Trainer for body which used to be Beachbody. He has a number of workouts on the body app. I've done them all they're super awesome. his Instagram account Joel Freeman fitness is really fun. He's got a lot of cool stuff on there. And he's very personable, very casual. Seems like a pretty cool dude likes bourbon likes, likes burgers. So I'm all there. So that was this week's episode of The Story lesson advice podcast no video this week because I'm getting over a sinus and ear infection, but I'll be back on the Schneid with a video next week. And like I said, we'll be doing I'll be doing a lot more videos coming here in the next several weeks and months. So thank you very much for listening. If you are if you did enjoy this consider subscribing. And following you can find me at Saturday is Saturday media on Instagram and YouTube. And this is the story lesson advice podcast part of Saturday is Saturday media si d media dotnet. Thank you and have a great day.