The Move: Packing up and moving your family when you least expect it.

In today’s episode, I discuss our family unexpected move from Texas to Arizona and the number that did on all of us. We went from feeling set for the future to feeling scrambled as we rushed out of town…and I felt totally lost with where and what I am supposed to do next.

For the Sponsor I Widh I Had, I talk about Melin Hats - worth the price as they look great, hold their shape and last forever.

I also discuss our ability to manage change and use the example of how many places we all have lived over the years.

For the Just the Tip segment, it’s all about size…watch sizing. 

I Whisper In a great Star Wars themed IG and YouTube account called Finding the Force, hosted by Obi Dad Kenobi.  

@saturdayisdadurday on Insta

Saturday is Dadurday on YouTube

Saturdayisdadurday@gmail.com

Music by Purple-planet.com
Music by Wondershare Filmora 12

Transcript

Our family just underwent a huge, massive positive change over the last six to eight months. And a big part of me feels like shit about it
I'm sure everybody listening to this has gone through some massive change probably multiple times over the course of their lives. Now, I'm no different, my wife's no different, everybody's gone through that. And our family just went through a really big change over the last six to eight months. And it's a very positive change, and it moves our family's trajectory in the right direction, it's great. But there's a huge part of me that just feels like shit about it. And it's really hard for me to process. So back in the summer of 2020, summer of COVID, our family built and moved into kind of our forever home. And it was a beautiful house in Texas. And we really loved it, it checked almost all the boxes that we had. And our plan was, hey, we're gonna be here for the long haul until our daughter graduates and goes off to college or whatever she's going to do after high school. And my wife and I were really happy with it, we really liked it. And a year later, we put in a pool for our family. And it was great. And we were kind of really, really enjoying it, we'd sit on the patio and kind of toast each other like, hey, you know, we did it, we got the house, we have a pool, we love the neighborhood, everything is great, we couldn't have asked for anything more for our setup.
And also at that time, my wife had been working for a company where she sort of had a pretty well defined and accelerated career path for her. So she was moving up. And she had a clear vision of where she was going next, which was going to be more responsibility, more money, all that good stuff. And at the same time, I had been asked to be one of the next owners of the company I was working for. So I was excited about that. And it was going to be you know, a few month process for paperwork and all that. But basically, within a year year and a half of my wife and I are moving in to our, our forever home with our daughter, she kind of had a future laid out in front of her, I had a future laid out in front of me, we had our house, we had the pool, our daughter was doing great. And we were like, okay, you know, we're here, and we're here for the long haul. However, A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the long haul. About a year ago, maybe a little more, the company my wife was working for was purchased by another much larger company. So when that happened, it basically just obliterated her career path, not to any fault of hers, but just you know, new leadership change and everything, changing pay structure, all that kind of stuff. So basically, all of that went out the window in the blink of an eye. And I remember my wife saying like, okay, you know, I'm just gonna hang here, I'm just, I'm not going to, you know, have any reaction, I'm just going to keep moving forward and do what I'm doing. And we'll let the dust settle, you know, for about a year or two and, and then reassess. And also about the same time, for me, the paperwork had been delayed on my end for signing
with my company is one of the new owners, and that just happens or the company, you know, just takes time to get all that stuff processed, and everything. So both of us kind of went from having a clear trajectory to kind of being much more muddied and delayed and kind of just sort of, huh. And we both said, like, alright, we're just going to, you know, just keep moving forward, and we're not going to do anything crazy. And we're just gonna see where this takes us. And about that time, about a year ago, my wife also started getting pursued by another company and said, Hey, you should come work for us. And she was, you know, polite and explained to them, you know, can't really do that. I've got a career husband's got a career, we have built our forever house that that whole spiel, and they kept pursuing her. And after a couple of months, you know, with what they were, what they were talking about, we couldn't ignore it. So we had to sit down and have a conversation, many conversations and long story short, after a few months, we it was an opportunity that we couldn't pass up. So we actually moved our family from Texas to Arizona, and we brought grandma with us. And that was tough because grandma had a life that she built for herself and a career and, and a house and friends and all that. So grandma came with us so she could be with her family. And we moved to support my wife, and we're really glad that we did it. And she's doing great at her job and she loves it and all that but
there's also a part of it that was really, really hard. And I feel like really struggling with with it. And
my company was kind enough to say hey, even though you're not gonna be able to be an owner anymore, we'd love to create a position for you and have you stay on with the company so they were great. And I have a perfect dream setup. I work here out of this office. I get to meet with everybody on our team, you know, on a weekly basis. I couldn't have asked for any
thing better. But honestly, there's a huge part of me that's just lost. I just feel like I'm adrift out in space. I don't know, anyone, we've been here almost a year, like, I hardly know anyone. I work in the house all day. So I really don't go anywhere outside of, you know, running my daughter to and from school. We as a family don't really know that many people yet are starting to, but
I just feel totally lost. And I balance that of, of not wanting to feel like I'm ungrateful for a wonderful opportunity. And we found a great house here in Arizona, we basically recreated the exact setup that we had in Texas.
And I love it, and I should be 100% grateful, and I am. But I don't know if anybody else feels like this where something happens that's positive. But maybe it isn't what you thought or isn't what you expected. And you just have this feeling of like, I don't love this. And you have the guilt associated with that, because you're like, I should love it. But I don't. And how do you process that? Oh.
I think one of the things that's most difficult to deal with when you're looking at a situation like this, where there's change, and you're not sure how to handle it, is the balance of having faith or not. And
faith in the situation faith in a higher power, however you'd like to divide that up. But for our example, you know, back up a year, and we could see forward, we could see the path. And even though it wasn't every step was defined, we kind of could see what it looked like. And now, my wife still has that, right, she still has a career path that her job I daughter has that she still has a trajectory for school and where she's going. And I honestly feel like man, I'm just upside down, I have no idea. I can't see what the future looks like, for me or for our family. Grandma's living with us right now, which is great to have grandma, but like a 42 year old, you know, me married with a kid not used to living with grandma. So for me, the struggle is the definition of faith of I can't see what's in front of me. But I have to believe and trust that it's the right thing. And that's really hard to do, it's a lot easier said than done. And even though everything looks positive, and it is, that doesn't mean that you can't feel what you're feeling and struggle with those emotions and how to process that and just how to think about the future. And I wonder if anybody else that's listening, or if anybody else has gone through something similar to that, because it's not fun, whether you have the guilt associated with it, or we're not feeling lost, feeling unhappy, feeling unsatisfied,
is a tough thing. And then if you add the guilt into that, I think that even makes it more difficult, where you feel guilty about feeling that way, even though you're sitting in a beautiful home, and you have a wonderful family and all that. But that is something that I've really struggled with. And I'm curious if anybody else has gone through that, that that as well. Oh,
one of the things I've thought about with this is how I'm processing my emotions and what I'm feeling and kind of being lost. And all of that is, what would I tell my daughter if she was older, and in the same situation, because everybody has that grass is greener syndrome, everybody looks across and compares themselves to their neighbors or their co worker or the next person in the gym or whatever. They're whose cars nicer any of that stuff. And it's not about any of that for me. But for me, it's about struggling to see what's next. And having what I thought was a clear path no longer be a clear path. And you're going to have that happen, right? All of us are going to have that where you just kind of feel lost and just sort of in
purgatory for how long and I think a mistake is to try to force something to try to will something to try to say, All right, I'm gonna quit this job and I'm gonna go do this and I'm gonna go do that. And all of a sudden you get there and you realize, man, I had a really sweet setup. And now I don't get to spend time with my family or I don't get this or that or whatever. So I think the message that I would give my daughter about feeling lost about not being able to see a clear path to the future is to focus on what you can control. And that typically is just your daily habits, your daily routine, your daily education, taking care of yourself, exercising, sleeping, eating well, all of that. And when you are clear headed with
that when you are doing things that have meaning and have purpose, that a lot of times the next steps will reveal themselves to you. But if you're distracted, and you're drowning out your emotions and feelings and all of that in pick your vise, it's hard to see what the future holds. Oh.
I think the final thing that I would tell my daughter is to have faith. And that's easier said than done. But I think a good first step in having faith is to remove doubt. You can't force yourself to have faith. But you can remove doubt you can create the absence of doubt. And when that happens, I think that will that is a good first step to beginning having faith and beginning to see what the future will hold. Oh.
Okay, now it's time for today's sponsor, I wish I had. And today's sponsor I wish I had is definitely a company you've seen over the last couple of years, they have been everywhere on social media. I was skeptical, Billy at first. But now I can tell you unequivocally, that melon hats are the real deal. You probably seen their ads on Instagram or Facebook or anywhere else. If you live in big cities, or at least the West half of the country, you probably haven't seen them in stores. Buy I bought my first melon hat in the spring of 2021 When our pool was supposed to be completed. And I said I'm going to save this hat because it's waterproof. I'm going to save this hat and wear it for the pool. So I'm not going to wear it until our pool is done. And that was in the spring of 2021. Fast forward to the second week of August, before our pool was done. And that's when I finally put my melon hat on award in the pool. And I have had that as my pool hat now for going on three years. And it is absolutely awesome. Anybody that is in the market for a really good quality hat that holds it shape that's waterproof. That puts the work in with you. Melon hats is the way to go. Every single one of my friends that I've turned on to this has bought at least two hats. I'm on my second hat as well. So if you need a hat, waterproof, workout, hat, golf hat, whatever, you cannot go wrong with a melon hat invest in a hat that is going to work with you put the work in with you. And last for years to come. Melon hats today's sponsor, I wish I had Oh.
All right. Without going all social media podcast influencer here on you, I think we greatly underestimate our ability as individuals to manage and process change. And I think a great example of this not for everybody, but for a lot of people will be becoming a parent. And as a guy, I can only speak to the male side of this. But you think about going through that process and the pregnancy, and all the stuff you have to get ready in the classes and building the crib and all of that. But you're going through all that and you're still you know, husband and wife. And then all of a sudden, within a couple of hours, you go from husband and wife to mom and dad. And that is instant. And that is for forever. Every day, 24 hours a day, there is no off switch, right? And you think about that is crazy to back when the infant stages the first couple of weeks and like what the hell are you doing? You're just laying on the floor drooling, you have no concept of reality. But somehow we manage, right? We just manage. We figure it out as we go along. And I think about that back to like a move scenario. Right? When I was in my 20s I moved from Green Bay, Wisconsin to Chicago. And I started a job in Chicago that was 100% Commission. I didn't know a single person. And somehow I figured it out. And I made the best of it and made friends and made money and did all that. I moved from Chicago to Dallas, hardly knew anybody. Same thing. New City, single didn't really know people somehow figured it out, built a whole life there. I met my wife we had our family. I think everybody has examples like that where you can process huge change perhaps, you know, some someone a loved one that that maybe had, you know, sickness like a cancer or something like that and and maybe they're around maybe they're not people's resiliency to fight through all that. So I think we underestimate our ability to manage change. I think we get hung up too easily on not liking the change necessarily or just not liking change period. And I think if we can push through that part and get to the point where
or we can accept that change is going to happen. And then see the change for what it is, as opposed to just being resentful of the fact that there's change. I think that's when to use the word change again, because I've only said that 3000 times, I think that's when change can actually start to happen. And we can adapt to it and move forward. And I really don't want to have to say the word change anymore after this, oh.
On the subject of change, I'm over that word. On the subject of change. I was thinking about this. And I asked my mom, because she lives with us now to speak in a change.
I asked her how many places she lived over the course of her life. And I think she came up with five or six, like she lived in granted, my mom is in her 70s. So different time, but she basically lived in the house, she was raised in all the way into her 20s, mid 20s, until she met my dad, and they got married. And I think they had one or two apartments. And then the house that I grew up in, and they had that for close to 40 years. And then my mom had a house in Texas, and now she lives with us. So there's five or six different living situations, and every time that you move, you're going to deal with some change. Even if you move in the same city, you're moving to a different part of the city or town, you're moving to a different setup, you know, bedrooms, and layouts of apartments and houses and all that are different. So my mom lived in like five or six places, I asked my wife, she was probably in like 13 or 14, I did the math on mine. And I was at like 17 Different places over the course of my lifetime that I lived in, and I wasn't counting dorms in college. So when you think about that, our ability to process change and deal with it and just adapt is is astounding. And especially if people take different jobs, for example, or even different careers, you know, I went from working in transportation, to working in culinary to cook being a cook. And now I'm back in sort of a corporate environment where I'm doing some outside sales and, and that kind of thing. So a lot of different change. And I'm curious to know what other people have gone through, and what, how they were able to process and overcome change and deal with change. And in corporate world, they talk about it as change management, new, new processes, new software tools, you know, new email procedures, whatever people are always going to gripe about, it doesn't matter what the change is, they're just going to be upset because it's change. And that translates to our personal life as well. So it's going to be uncomfortable, right, and I would tell my daughter change is uncomfortable. Embrace that, because that's where you have an opportunity to learn about yourself, and also learn about others. If you're in a group, where a group of people are experiencing change, you will very quickly see people's true colors. And you will see what people are made out of when they get pushed to a little uncomfortable, not even a lot uncomfortable. We're just talking a little uncomfortable. And it's amazing. And we're not even talking about people's egos and all that that's a whole separate discussion. But you think about people that have to deal with change, whether it's at work or personal or relationship or whatever, you see people's true colors. And that isn't to paint people in a bad light. Because none of us should be defined by some of our worst moments, we should have an opportunity at redemption, with it within reason.
But when you think about that, you really can see what people are made of and how people operate. And that can be very, very eye opening. Oh.
So with that, I want everybody to think how many places have you've lived in? How many different apartments or houses or, or dorm rooms or whatever have you lived in? And what was all that like, when you think about how did you move from one place to the other? What drove you to do that? Was it a financial decision? Was it for work was it relationship, it's just not like where you were living and wanted to change. I think all of that is really interesting. And it sheds a light into our past and helps us understand how we got to where we are now. I think about all the different apartments that I moved into when I lived in Dallas. So when I was single, and you know my I was always on I wanted the next cooler the best the better view the better apartment that this or that? And it's like, what a waste. You know, for me, not that you can't want nice things and want to keep moving up. But when your priorities are that out of whack, and all you're focused on is the cool materialistic stuff without any balance. Man you can you can burn through a lot of money. You can make a lot of bad decisions and you can put yourself in a lot of bad situations. So for what for the few times that you have people over that you hope they're impressed with your one bedroom apartment. I don't know but
In today's just the tip, it's going to be a quick down and dirty on watch sizing. Now this is for guys since I'm a guy. But just a couple of quick tips on how to size a watch. When you're looking for one just kind of a few things to consider. The first thing that you're going to want to consider is, you're going to want to measure your wrist circumference. Now the average wrist circumference for guys is anywhere between six and seven and a half inches. Go ahead, put your jokin Oh, wait.
Okay, that was pretty funny. The next thing is you're gonna want to pay attention to your wrist band, and more wider is going to be more casual, narrower is going to be more formal. Typically, you want to find a balance in between, you don't want it so thin that it looks like a bracelet, or so thick that it looks like you're wearing a belt. The next little tip is going to be to pay attention to the watch face and casing right. So that's this part here, the face and the casing, you're going to want to determine the width and the thickness. Again, bigger is typically going to be more casual, smaller is going to be more formal to a point, you don't want to have it so big that it looks like a Flavor Flav clock on your wrist. But you don't want it so small that it almost looks like it belongs on your wife's wrist. And finally, a little extra tip L is going to be the materials of your watch band. So typically, when you think about materials like this, that are rubber or plastic or other synthetics, those are usually going to be more on the casual side, where metals like aluminum and stainless and gold and stuff like that are going to be more on the formal side. So you're gonna want to balance all of that. What I would recommend doing if you are looking for a watch is go to a jewelry store where you can see a wide variety of watches. And try a few one just to see the type of watches. There's so much information and I am not an expert at all. I like watches, but I'm not an expert. But what I would say is you can't go wrong with a nice semi formal watch that can look good with a suit or look good with a pair of shorts and a T shirt. One that I've had for years as an Omega Seamaster. I got way back when for my 21st birthday. That's a great watch to have not cheap, but that goes with absolutely anything. So that's an example of that. And then you can have a watch like an apple watch with different casing or something like that in different bands to make it formal or casual or whatever. So watch sizing today's just the tip. Oh.
Okay, for today's whispering. And remember, a lot of people like to give shout outs. And I like to give a whispering. And I already told you to stop rolling your eyes at this name. It's a good name. whispering. Today's whispering is an Instagram and YouTube account that I've been following. And it is called Finding the force. And the host of It is Obi dad Kenobi. And he does a ton of really cool videos on Star Wars focused items, such as lightsabers, and other collectibles. He also talks a lot about Star Wars rides at parks like Disney. And it is a really fun and cool account. The guy seems pretty neat. And he's even answered a couple of my questions about the lightsaber that I bought sitting behind me
finding the force, Instagram and YouTube. Today's whispering check them out. Oh.
Okay, to wrap things up here for our cooldown. What do we talk about today? What was the message? Well, overarching theme for me is faith. And that is easier said than done. Our family had a surprise move from Texas to Arizona, we had our life kind of set and moving forward. And then in the blink of an eye or a snap of a finger, whatever that was.
Life moves, life changes. And here we are eight months later in Arizona, and I still feel kind of upside down and guess what? That's okay. It's okay to process your feelings. It's not okay to eat your feelings forever. But it's okay to process it and just deal with it and move on. I would tell my daughter, the beginning of faith is the absence of doubt and to stay focused and stay sharp, and be ready and be surprised at what good fortune can come your way.
We also talked about the sponsor I wish I had today, which was melon hats. I've got two of them. They are awesome. They're waterproof, they hold their shape forever. If you don't have one, invest in one, it is highly worth your money.
We also talked about our ability as people to manage and process change. You think about how many life changing events that you've gone through your own life, whatever it is, how many places we've all lived different apartments, houses, dorm rooms, whatever the case is. That's all change.
Change Management. And if we can get past the stubbornness in our own head of not wanting to manage the change simply because it's change if we can get past that, that is where the real change can happen are just the tip segment was on watch sizing for men pay attention to your wrist circumference. Pay attention to the type of materials that the watch is made out of, and how big or small the watch is. Those are all some helpful tips. Lastly, our whispering segment we gave a whispering not a shout out a whispering to finding the force Instagram and YouTube account. This guy Obi dad Kenobi is heavy into videos and content on Instagram for Star Wars memorabilia, lightsabers, helmets information on rides, Star Wars rides at Disney Parks stuff like that really cool account really seems fun, light hearted, definitely worth the following worth your time. Thank you for watching this week's episode and listening to this week's episode. And we'll see you next week. Remember, Saturday is Saturday.